A REPAVED ROAD

Alrighty, it is January 29, 2024. I'm coming to some realization, mainly that I get super excited about new things, like all the data science courses, doing research, all the cheer stuff, teaching, all of that. And I even started a psychology course and I have yet to complete any of it. And I feel as though I get so excited to start things and then immediately, as soon as I hit some sort of bump in the road, I just start to stop. I start to slow down to an absolute halt. I know it probably shouldn't be that way, and I just don't know how to not have it be that way.

I'm thinking that maybe I'm trying to do too much at once and I need to block out time for things, particular tasks, and it sounds all well and good, but then when I try to do things like that, I don't have the motivation to do it within that time frame. And I just get so discombobulated about the fact that I can't get it done. And it's not that I can't get it done, it's that I won't get it done. And it's completely ridiculous because I have a lot of time on my hands outside of work. And I use work as an excuse every time to get out of things that I don't want to do or just don't feel. And it stems from me just not having discipline. And I have discipline to do other things. Like I always wake up at 5:30 in the morning and work out. I also make sure to exercise after I work, I get on a treadmill, I do my strength training and I am committed. I feel as though I'm just not realizing the goal of my studies. Like the goal for me waking up and exercising before and after work, is for me to lose weight. And I'm excited about that goal because I want to get healthier.. But what about my research projects? What is my goal there? What do I want out of doing all these things? What do I want out of doing data science and stuff like that? Do I want to work in data science?

Yes, I do. But I'm afraid that I'm not good enough. I'm afraid that I don't have skills and I can get the skills by just doing the courses that I've outlined to do, and I just don't get why I don't do it. So today is going to be the first day for me to start blocking out time for tasks and not getting distracted by other things. I need to be completely zoned in and focus on what I want to do right. And I just need to stay in that mindset. What I used to do is try and do my research and my studying during work hours in-between tasks. And I feel as though that has hindered me from focusing on my work and even on the things that I was trying to do outside of my work.

So, I'm going to spend all my work hours doing the my actual job, then I will go work out, and once I come home, I'll shower, I will eat, and I'll make a cup of coffee. I will firstly start with my studies. I'll do an hour of study, and then I'll do an hour of research. So that could be for my optimization work, that could be for my data work, or that could be for my psychology work. That is the plan for today. I feel as though that should be enough and I want that to be enough. I'll also end the night with some stretches before I go to bed because that helps me go to sleep, surprisingly. So that's how I'll focus the day.

It's just up to what am I going to spend my lunch hour on now. Usually, I would spend my lunch hour doing a course, but I feel as though I want to spend my lunch hour completely designated to me. So, what do I want? What do I want to do during that lunch hour? Now, I fast every day, so I will not be eating during that time, but maybe I can walk downstairs, make a cup of tea, and just either sit and reflect a bit or watch an episode of something. I'm not sure what to do at that hour as yet, but the focus is about just blocking out my days in terms of tasks. And each task has a designated time, and I don't do anything outside of its designated time. That's the goal. So, I'm going to try this for the next week and see how I feel and how it goes. Maybe I am just too burnt out to multitask.

I probably just don't have the brain capacity at this moment to multitask. I just want to get these things done so that at some point I can go into my mind and do whatever it is that I want to do. So that's it. I'm almost at work. I'm realizing a lot about the type of person I am, what I love to do. I love working with kids and exercising and doing stuff like that. But then it's like, I didn't get my degree in that. I didn't get my degree in child health. I got my degree in computer science and mathematics, and I'm going to try and do something within my career, within my line of work. Then I will continue doing the psychology course just to really understand how the brain works and how everything is done. That's the goal. Mix in the data science in there and we’re all set. That's my chance. Data Science + Pyschology here we come.

If you are having the same thoughts as I am and want to repave your own road along with me, please like and follow along. Let's do this together.

XOXO,

-Your Ditsy Data Scientist

Tamia-Ashley

A Repaved Road - The Ditsy Data Scientist Ep.1 (1).pdf

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